The Nurturing We Need
You may have experienced times in your life where the care that you needed or truly desired wasn't provided to you. This being your experience growing up where you may have experienced some forms of neglect, maybe your food and shelter was provided, but you didn't have the hugs, and the caring and the kisses that you really needed and deeply desired as a child and that affected you and has probably still affected you to some extent now. As a women you may have continued not to be cared for, and it could be that there are parts your energy that has built up a wall around being able to receive this care, which seems so counter intuitive because you desire it, but there's also a part of us at times that puts up an unconscious wall, and we’re so afraid of getting hurt and experiencing the pain that we’ve experienced when we don't receive the nurturing and the care that we need. That we unconsciously reject it and we might attract partners who continue to be uncaring, unloving and not provide the level of intimate kind of caring, soft touch, loving touch, and really nurturing and so that can continue to perpetuate some of our own beliefs about yourself and be painful. Just starting to bring some awareness to that is one of the ways that we can start to heal this behavior and pattern. The other thing that I want to speak about is sometimes we feel a lot of grief around not receiving this care this nurturing, and there's nothing that we can do to go back and change that, particularly the past, as a child and we might still hold some resentment or some grudges against out caretakers for not providing us with what we thought we should have had and there's a lot of grief around that and also holding back of living life and moving forward because we are still living the past and when you live in the past your not moving forward. It sometimes really subtle the ways that we are still holding on to past experiences and you may not notice that unless you feel into the bodies sensations and experiences you are likely having. So I would just like to bring some awareness into that and how your feeling. Are you loving yourself, are you able to provide some forgiveness to those who were not there for you in the way that you thought that you needed to be cared for. Are you willing to let go of that grief or resentment towards that other person(s) will you accept that there's nothing that you can do to change that, there's nothing absolutely nothing that you can do to change that, you can not change them, nothing that you can do to make them feel sorry for it. You can try to guilt people or do things that manipulate people but that won't serve either of us, not them not you — so noticing how your even responding emotionally or semantically to what I'm describing right now. It's super uncomfortable like pulling a scab off of something that you thought was healed and now you're realizing that it's not healed and this is all good too because this is what helps to bring the healing forward.
Consider the ways you needed to be loved and cared for. Are you holding any grudges or resentments against anyone in your life?
How have you noticed these emotions effecting your body?
What resentment or grudge would you most like to release?