They’re watching you, so lead them
Read Time: Approximately 4 1/2 minutes
I just finished a conversation with photographer Karianne Munstedt for an upcoming shoot in her Embrace: Women Over 40 Project. Karianne, an award-winning portrait photographer, speaker, coach, and author, is a nurturing artist passionately dedicated to using her talents to make women feel confident, empowered, and whole.
We had a beautiful conversation that eventually turned to the professional aspects and stigma of women in business. The conversation began something like, “... professional women are sexual beings, and they're sensual beings.” Before becoming a Sex and Intimacy Coach, I worked in the business sector for years. I was as conservative as it comes and I liked it. I followed the status quo, looked the part, and checked as many boxes as I could so that I didn’t stand out for anything other than the numbers I brought into the company. It felt safer that way. I’ve experienced more than my fair share of sexual harassment, both in my personal and professional life. So, the opportunity to dress in company-approved apparel with straight hair and a straight-laced demeanor felt like something I was happy to sign up for.
Unknowingly, I was in my masculine energy because I needed to control as much as I could around me to make me feel safe. So much so, that even when I got off of work, I didn’t know how to take off my masculine hat, which resulted in unconsciously emasculating my husband by trying to control him and everyone and everything in our household.
But let me tell you how that turned out for me.
I had an emotional breakdown because it all got too hard and too heavy to carry, and I collapsed under the pressure of having to do, be, and have everything perfect. And that need to be “perfect”, in and of itself, is a death sentence.
My husband cheated, and I ended up divorced. Back then, I would have said it was all his fault, but that's a lie; I equally contributed.
My children didn’t get to see the fun, loving, creative, playful sides of me - I was so far removed from those parts. They saw the mom who expected perfection, rigidity, and had unrealistic expectations of kids who really needed to feel the nurture of femininity while experiencing the structure and direction of the masculine.
I had no idea who I was, what my true values were or what I stood for.
Nevertheless, we all survived, and so will you if even a piece of what I’m saying resonates.
The feminine essence flows, surrendering in moments of trust. Without trust, surrender becomes unattainable. When your inner masculine is constantly guarding your inner feminine, allowing her to come out only at designated times, you aren’t in trust.
This remains true even if you're dressed in your favorite professional business attire.
Redefining Strength:
Here's the truth of it: we’re all sexual, sensual beings. Professional women are sexual beings. The more of us that can accept and appreciate that about ourselves, the more sexy, beautiful, loving, creative, and vivacious we are going to be. The world needs us in our feminine AND masculine power.
Not in one or the other.
I understand, though. Many women are hesitant or unsure about how to express their feminine side, largely because historically, embodying our femininity has been perceived as risky. We've grappled with fears of not being respected, being overlooked, and not being taken seriously. These are real stories and truths in our experiences, yet if we continue with the same approach, change will elude us. We need a balanced liberation, one inspired by both masculine and feminine energies, to free ourselves from the stale narratives that prevent us from realizing our full potential. This wholeness means you can embrace both your feminine and masculine sides and still be effective. There’s no need to suppress your femininity, even in the boardroom. Bring it with you. Let them witness your poise and radiance. Show them how you lead with character and discipline. This is important for us as women, to be truly empowered. We can own our beauty, our grace, our strength, we can own all of it.
We cannot fully realize our true selves if we leave parts of ourselves hidden. Being fully empowered and embodied requires the courage to show all aspects of our being.The key is to know that you have the power to show or share those parts of yourself on your own terms, not just when it's deemed acceptable by others. I no longer dim my light. By leading with my femininity, balanced by a well-tuned masculine side. I know who I am, I know I’m competent, and I trust myself. As we each embrace this balance, integrating both our masculine and feminine energies, we create a powerful synergy. Together, we foster a community where every woman's strength contributes to a greater collective force. The more of us who embrace both our masculine and feminine aspects, the more formidable and unstoppable we become.
Balancing the Masculine and Feminine
The fusion of masculine and feminine energies within us offers more than empowerment; it reshapes our understanding of strength. To cultivate this harmony, consider integrating practices that develop both aspects:
Mindful Walking and Posture:
Be conscious of your walk, balancing grace with assertiveness. Imagine a string pulling you upright, embodying both confidence and elegance.
Mirror Work:
Spend time in front of a mirror, practicing body language that exudes both strength and warmth. Adjust your posture and facial expressions to reflect a blend of assertiveness and empathy.
Affirmations:
Reinforce your inner harmony with daily affirmations like, "I embody both strength and nurturing," or "I balance confidence with compassion."
Room Entry Exercise:
Practice entering rooms with purpose, exuding a mix of assertiveness (masculine energy) and approachability (feminine energy).
Embracing our duality is not just self-acceptance; it's a celebration of our complex and dynamic nature. It's about confidently leading with a blend of femininity and inner strength, redefining how we see ourselves and how the world perceives us.
Dive into a journey of self-discovery and empowerment with my book, 'S.E.X. Boss.' This guide is more than just a book; it's an invitation to embrace your sexual energy for self-mastery and personal empowerment. Initially inspired by women leaders, (hence the name S.E.X. Boss) this book offers a path to rediscover your body as a sacred space, with insightful journal prompts, affirmations, and rituals that challenge conventional views on sex. Embrace your inner S.E.X. Boss, harness your sexual energy, and rewrite your narrative on intimacy and creativity. Begin your journey of radical authenticity and sexual empowerment today. Order your personalized copy here."
About Veronica:
Veronica Lynn Clark is a trailblazer in empowering women to embrace their multifaceted identities. With her rich background in business and expertise as a Sex and Intimacy Coach, Veronica guides individuals to harness their unique blend of feminine and masculine energies. Her approach fosters self-mastery, personal empowerment, and a journey towards authentic leadership and self-expression.
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