Building Intimacy: The Gift of Presence in Relationships

One of the challenges that I hear most couples talk about is the demands and distractions of their busy lives. Often, they are so focused on running the business, taking care of kids, and other seemingly more pressing priorities that their relationship turns into the comfy couch—comfortable, reliable, but with not much care. What they don't realize is that the lack of presence and attention to the relationship is leading to distance and invisible walls that they bump up against in the bedroom and in their daily lives. Even though they may be proximally close to each other, they feel further and further apart.

It's also common for couples to feel closer to some of the people they work with or spend most of their time with, rather than their spouse. That's because where your attention goes, energy flows. To change this, I recommend that couples commit to spending at least 10 to 15 minutes a day in an intimacy practice. This practice focuses on building intimacy and fostering emotional safety through presence and connection.

During this time, I encourage couples not to speak much but to put their bodies together and breathe. It's common for people to want to start talking because silence feels uncomfortable, but it's important to move through this temporary awkwardness to make their way back home to each other. Here are some key points for this practice:

  1. Feeling Seen and Heard: Feeling seen and heard helps you feel acknowledged by your partner and, over time, builds more trust.

  2. Presence is Crucial: This means not being distracted by the phone, not feeling like there's something more important to do, and not allowing your attention to wander. Stay present and give your partner undivided attention.

  3. Mutual Benefit: Remember that you're not only doing this for your partner; you are doing this so that you too can have the experience of feeling fully loved and turned on in your relationship.

  4. Building Trust and Vulnerability: When we can be more present, the other will start to feel safe enough to relax, and this is where trust and vulnerability begin to emerge.

  5. Overcoming Distractions: By learning how to overcome distractions from the outside world and bring your attention and awareness back to your relationship, you can build a relationship that allows you to feel loved, seen, heard, and really turned on.

Remember, intimacy is the gift of presence. By dedicating time each day to truly be with your partner, you can strengthen your connection and foster a deeper bond.

#RelationshipGoals #DeepConnection #SelfReflection #LoveAndGrowth

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7 Steps to Getting Untangled

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The Path to Inner Intimacy